Heat warps the human being. It can buckles them, slows their step. Halts their ability to sleep. It shortens their fuse to only trigger finger fast reactions and causes a strange sort of cannibalistic pack mentality. Take the British, for the example. A country swarming with people who act as babbling thermometers. They wander into shops or homes or offices and declare ‘isn’t it hot?’ or ‘blimey, it’s freezing in here’. They check the weather reports like they’ve been handed the lottery results. These are people who, once gun ownership is made legal here, will spend their lunchtimes patrolling their offices and hunting down anyone who dared to fiddle with the air conditioning without first seeking their bloated, withholding say so.
Read MoreOh, summer. Cruel, hot, possible globally catastrophic summer. Soon you will be gone, never to dark our barometers and shorts drawers again. No longer will people walk into a room and declare ‘oh, isn’t it hot in here’ or ‘oh, isn’t it cold in here’ like some demented, inbred thermometer parrot. No longer will people claim to love the summer but always seem to be the first to reach for the air conditioning, thus exposing themselves as a total fraud.
Read More